Listening with Love:

Many of us have heard the phrase, "We have one mouth to speak and two ears for listening." I truly understood the profound meaning of this saying while sitting at the bedside during countless hours of Hospice visits as a volunteer. It made me realize that listening is a gift, and many people long to be heard and understood. To have someone simply sit there and let them express their emotions and thoughts is an act of love.

Have you ever thought about the difference between hearing and listening? Hearing is a physiological event that occurs when sound waves hit the eardrums. Listening, on the other hand, engages the mind and involves selective reception. You can hear someone without truly listening to them, but you cannot listen to someone without hearing them.

At the end of life, when a loved one is facing one of the scariest moments, preparing to make the journey home, we may wonder how to face this challenge and how to help them deal with their fears. There's no easy answer, but there is an answer: we show up and show love. Simply being present at their bedside, holding space for them, and offering our love is enough.

Communication is not just about spoken words; it's also about the energy we emit and how we perceive it. Body language and the feelings we convey often speak louder than the words we say. Our eye contact, facial expressions, and posture all play a significant role in how we communicate with others. Sometimes, the messages conveyed through body language might differ from our verbal communication, leading to mixed signals. In such cases, people tend to rely on the non-verbal message as it feels more natural and speaks an unconscious language. The best communicators can effectively use body language and non-verbal cues to convey their intentions.

While being present and actively listening to someone is crucial, physical touch is also important. From a young age, we learn to understand the tones of speech, such as when our parents sounded angry. Similarly, touch carries meaning; when we touch something hot and get burned, it hurts, and when our mom hugs us after a fall, it comforts us. At the end of life, physical pain can be managed through medicine in Hospice care, but there might also be spiritual distress. This is where a deeper healing process comes into play.

Many Hospice organizations now utilize energy healers, who not only focus on physical pain but also assist with the spiritual, mental, and emotional aspects of the human experience. There's a profound human connection needed from the beginning to the end of our lives. Additionally, there exists a spiritual connection that runs even deeper and is felt on a different level. When we become present and direct our time, love, and attention towards those who are fighting to spend their last moments with us, we will find that we are communicating on a different, more profound level.

I urge you to sit and hold space when that day comes, knowing that you are standing on holy ground as that soul prepares to go home.

Let us all remember that we are here to walk each other home. When you stand at that doorway before they enter, a sweet kiss on the forehead or a gentle holding of the hand – heart to heart – before you bid them farewell to their welcome home party among the stars.

“I closed my mouth and spoke to you in a hundred silent ways.”

~Rumi